“life will be better in spring”

April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011

i'm happy.
i'm sad.
i'm guilty.
i'm crazy.
i'm giving up.
i'm not having good attitudes.

i'm happy that i went out ytd and skipped choir.
talked about lots of things. and finally its with ppl who talks with interesting contents.
its really cool. i don't mind letting them know. haha.
saw nice clothes! but no $$. zzz.
THANKS ADELINE AND YUHUI FOR THE TREAT.
eat until SUPERRRR full. lol. but nice day.
didnt have to think about studies all those.
no stress.
and today he said sth which made me go 'hahaha'.
though that time he's hostile, but hahaha.
stupid, even such little things made me happy.
yeah. cos there was 'acknowledgement'.
i guess i really want an elder brother. -.-

i'm sad. i became unhappier and unhappier tgt with ppl who're not sensitive.
cos i know i am TOO sensitive. too over.
but. yeah. sometimes the things she said were too, i couldn't really think of those stuffs in a good way..
went sakae eat, she said she felt that she's rounder after that dinner.
ppl gave her titbits or maybe snacks or what chocolates as present, and when ppl said, 'it's the thought that counts,' she said, 'how can i eat them when they're melted.' like wth?
ppl gave her presents, she wanted to give it to others.
she kept saying there're alot alot of things to take.
those were her presents. i didn't even have that much.
not even ppl who knew my bdae wished me can.
i'm not trying to be bhb here or want ppl to wish me or what.
i just wished that she would appreciate those things which she has but i don't can.
i am not fit to say these. but i felt really unhappy after all these.

i'm guilty. i dont feel like performing.
i lied for ytd. yet she believed me.
-.-

i'm giving bad attitudes.
cos.. why?
and someone said i have the wrong mentality.
of course. my whole existence is a mistake.
i cant help thinking like this.

if i have the blood which makes me work hard,
i have another type which can make me ruin myself too.
hahaha. get it?

i wanna like someone now ehhhhhhhhh.
hahaha. random right.
but i dont wanna do it for the sake of doing it.
hehhehhehs. -.-

i wanna go clarke quay!
okay. lame. -.-
but i like the atmosphere there.

i'm going to xxx alone in the dark alr.
hahaha. otherwise i wont be able to stand it in school..
i nearly did that today.
and if nobody is able stop me from doing anything that i'm doing presently..
hahaha. i think i'll probably continue with it.
nah. kidding. hahahaha.
i dont understand myself.
the more i know about myself, the more i dont understand about myself.
hahaha. seee. i know what that means. really. -.-
but. its nice knowing someone who has almost the exact opinions or thoughts as you.

End.