“life will be better in spring”

April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011

wth.
kinda upset today.
walao.
did i really climb that high such that i can't accept failures?
are my results that good?!
why no one believes that i can fail and get average or even poor results?
am i that good that i seem to you all that i can maintain my results?
wth.
but nevertheless, tests are tests, exams are exams.
i know well that my tests' results will be far better exams.
and even if i can get a B or sth for my exams, my targets are not reached yet can.
its not easy to maintain good results okay.
wl. furthurmore, i'm so damn average.
everyone fear about exams, like i'm not, as if i won't.
whenever i received the results, its either i feel bad or 'half good half bad'.
never felt totally good about them before.
that was why i've never said that my results were good whenever asked.
i feel very bad when i fail or got a C.
and for the 'half good half bad'?
if there aren't Cs, i will feel good upon receiving the results, but i felt that i should be better, that was why i felt bad.
fine.
why am i talking about all these.
i was just upset that you said those in very ... manner.
like almost raising voice like that.
when will they realise that i can do badly too.
must i really fail all those papers, then they will?
i just want praise that's meant as encouragement, not sarcasm.
of course i want to be impressive.
but in fact, i'm not.

okay. shut up.
these were meant no none of the readers anw,
i just need to 'vomit' everything out.