“life will be better in spring”

April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011

hais.
i dunno whether i should be kind or vicious now.
the world is getting more and more unsafe.
zzz.
and i think i should never talk to idiots who cannot understand me and of what i say.

i really hate going the other way just because they're going the same way as me.
cos it's like i've no pride or what.
but i'll only be considerate if others will be implicated.
zzz.

i don't know why i'm so good-tempered this year.
i've keeping hurtful comments from ppl even though they don't know how to appreciate.
even blamed ME for keeping them in the dark.
what hell is this?
i've been keeping mum about things from people though i know it's not my fault.
siao alr.

yes, i've once told myself to be as malicious as possible, and to hate anyone who deserves it.
and i did it.
then, i told myself to change again. i wanted to trust people and be kinder. also, to not avoid problems.
so, i did it too.
now, i just want to do things with pride and dignity.
i know i did nothing that are shameless.
but i just want to have the qi4 shi4 when handling problems.
and i don't know if i should continue trusting some people.
well, i'll try again- to change myself. {:

i'm so angered.
i wanna grab their throats, slap them twice and punch the walls.
fine. GET VIOLENT.
i need to vent anger.
arghh.
whatever.

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i. sick in the heart. ):
i.. don't know what to do.
can't stand myself.
i don't even know why it became like this.
what to do what to do. ):