“life will be better in spring”

April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011

I hope that..

1. Everyone will be healthy, no matter who.

2. F.T Island will acheive their dream (sincerely).

3. Everybody will be happier.

4. I will be happier, and know myself.


i always get very lazy, especially when holidays are here.
maybe that's why i can't get a job. -.-
sian, it's like i wanna do, but don't feel like doing sometimes.
i'm so lazy to go for interviews, COMMUNICATE, fill in application forms and even send emails. :

I LOVE THE CHOIs!!!! LOL.
at first it's CHOI MIN HWAN.
then CHOI SEUNG HYUN (T.O.P),
and CHOI JONG HOON.
now finally it's SHINee's CHOI MIN HO (which i just realised yesterday that he's a CHOI while watching Let's Go, Dream Team. Lol.)
cooool.

TOP finally appeared in last night's IRIS. handsome~ x}

It's You (Rearranged) and Sorry, Sorry (Remix) are so cooool.

i don't know why i can't find a job, maybe i'm too fussy and lazy.. -.-
so stressed.
still wondering if i should work during weekends when i'm in Poly, and i'm not sure if i can still have drums on Thursdays. :\
last night was the first time i got so frustrated while praticing for tmr's lesson. -.-
nvm, as long as F.T doesn't do hand sync, motivation is still there.

dreamt of O level results again. -.-
i got 18 points.
hais.

): no job! no money! nobody wants me cos my english is poor.

recently, i feel that i will do anything for the sake of money.

I don't like it when more and more ppl like F.T Island, especially after watching their shows.
but that's very bad of me cos they're supposed to be increasingly famous. blahhh~
same as my sis, that's why we were saying that local channels should not air The Road Home.
lol, perhaps viewers will dislike MinHwan's acting and so on.. but who knows?
what if they discover his cuteness?!?! hehe.
whatever, i should just be my loyal, passionate and hardworking Primadonna. lol.

today AOR called and i think my english sucks. -.-
i cannot speak comfortably using ENGLISH and i will always pause in the middle of the sentence.
so lame. i'm stupid.

aish. so emo, my fansign tickets...............
anw i should get ready for january already.
they're all so skinny. lol.
and i need to queue up early in the morning again.
i'm sure many fans will camp there the night before fanmeet.
which definitely means that i won't get to see them up close unless during handshake session. cool? i'm so sad i can't camp overnight like them.

my life is all about f.t island now.
lol. i just realised how sad Bad Woman's MV is.
and i like Jong Hoon's part the best. :P

omg. i dreamt of F.T Island AGAIN.
at first they were all sitting in front of me, then jaejin moved to the seat beside me.
then jonghoon was playing his accoustic guitar, singing.
and then i even saw wonbin on the streets. OMGGG~
but not much of minhwan. ):

oh i forgot to mention:
i cycled so so so soooooooooooooo FAR and came back safely, or without stopping much although i was running out of breath, both legs tiring out, and cycled with all my might because of hwannie!~
lol. so proudddd.
thought of him, talked about him etc.
i was mad. lol.

woah so cutes when they turn in rounds together (except for minhwan) when singing Bing Bing Bing. lol.

monday went to escape theme park.
the best is still pirate ship, but thanks to it i got a bruise now. and arcade was cool.
but i haven't paid any money yet.

tuesday went for second interview at Ngee Ann city's Cedele.
woooo i hope they give me the job and call me soon.
so far the only disadvantages are that work ends at 10.30pm and i won't be so free anymore.
but still, i need to work.
for F.T Island, for Drumming lessons, for going out, for many many reasons.
if still no job till january, i'll turn to try out being hotel waitress. z.z
afterwards i met up with yh at lavender and we waited till the rest to come and set off to parkway parade.
and wow, we cycled in the rain, without any injury.
i was so desperate that i pinned up my fringe and took a cab home.
well, cool experience with my friends. hehe.
anw such things won't happen again with the same ppl.

wednesday i waited for Cedele's call.
and we went to yj and ly's house.
OH-MO-NA. played hotel626 and that dumb maze game. that was my second encounter with such games. the first was a game that was supposingly to be testing your eyes tosee whether you're a colour blind.
i spent my time on F.T ISLAND while using their com too, and played ps2, psp..
later we were treated to sushi tei.
well, wonderful meal. lol, that's of course.

thursday i waited and waited for Cedele's call too.
but till today, they haven't given me any news.
at 4plus i came down to novena for my lessons.
i'm so noob!
learning to use left foot already.
blahhh. i wish i was richer. i wish i learnt drums earlier. i wish i'm a fast learner. i wish i have drums at home to practice. i wish i'm a 6th grader drummer. so that i can, perhaps, learn electric guitar too.
at night was FUN. we talked, and danced. and even tried to act out Big Bang's Haru Haru.
but crap the weird guy living on the 8th storey.
he came up and said we made this 'BOM BOM BOM' noise.
wth? even if this time we did, how could you say that there is this kind of "BOM BOM BOM" sound every day? you mad or something?
crazy. use my drumsticks BOM your head then you know.

friday we came back to whampoa in the afternoon~
ahh so boring. SJ-M was on channel U.
not bad uh, ryeo wook. haha. he looks so funny standing at the side there.
and han geng's dance, wooo so coolz.
my mom just told us randomly that JY's got a gf, he brought her home. lol.
gf wasn't surprising, but brought her home.. to do hw?
his mom even asked him whether the girl was there to just do hw or she's his gf. lol.
coolz.

i've decided to purchase the tickets. i hope plans will go smoothly!
just this once and i'll start working hard already.
(cos i sort of feel a bit of guilty for not even trying to think about which course i want to get into next year.. and i'm not even working, yet i'm using all these money like this, especially when the money are for studying. T.T)

aishh. so i shall make a promise:
i won't go out unless necessary.
even if i go out, i will not eat.
if it's going out just for a meal, then i'll eat something cheaper on the menu.
and i'm even trying to save up on my transporting fee.
don't ask me out anymore!

but it's so sad eh.
those ppl will be busy after their JC life starts..
ahh aye i don't know what to do.

why do i suddenly feel that,
memories cannot be bought by money,
but without money, it's hard to have any good memories? -.-

i was stupid to not expect them to have a rehearsal at fort canning on last friday, one day before the sundown festival.
so they to korea plaza too.
i regret going to send ft island off. the fans got a wave from minhwan just by calling him ONCE. see how friendly he is? i missed minhwan by not going to the airport on monday and now i miss him. serves me right. -.-
and jaejin's very cute during the time when he was in singapore. lol. nice hair, nice shirt, nice style.
i hate it when they're here in singapore, yet i couldn't grab hold of where the hell they are.
feels stupid, cos the rest of the fans will be there stalking them.
how i wished i was at sundown festival, to see the live performance of minhwan, see him play the drums.
i watched the fancams of seoul'd out, he was charming. there was one which focused a lot on minhwan. and i wouldn't mind queuing up for so long. hehe. loves him and his drums and drumsticks. :P


SERIOUS:
how can that girl pull seunghyun's hair like that and give that kind of laugh?
is she an anti-fan or what? still can be so proud of herself on her blog?!
and what ft island has a bad impression of singapore?
any idea that it will be possible that they will not come here anymore?
in the end the ones who will be disappointed are the singapore primadonna alright.

went to Cedele's office at Kaki Bukit for an interview.
i thought we might be the ones who will be asked, but for that 1h 30min, the superior did most of the talking.
very straightforward, good. $.$
now i'm waiting for the call for a second interview.
ah after i get this job, and when it start, i'll get more busy.
freaking emo. but i guess i'll take this job seriously.
perhaps it'll be my priority.
I AM STRESSED!
i want to be alone.

now i think i know why the fans near the glasses kept screaming and screaming when f.t island wasn't even out alr.
cos f.t island waved to them, smiled to them, and posed for them to take pics.
hais. so emo.

yeah, they stay in Marina Mandarin.
cos there was a press conference held there, in Gemini Ballroom at 1.30pm today.
so i was kinda close to them since i was at suntec?
i'm depressed.

ppl said that F.T Island is currently staying in Marina Mandarin..
omg. i think it's there, cos of the christmas lightings and stuffs.
the fans just won't leak out what their schedule will be..
and today their activities were fanmeet, and conference. wth.

can i just see minhwan once more? before they leave? please?

i must have been really really stressed recently,
otherwise, it must be that i becoming weaker.

i need to see them once more, please.

UWAHHHH. I THINK MINHWAN IS, AND HAS BEEN THE MOST FRIENDLY MEMBER.
I'M SO DEPRESSED THAT I STOOD ON THE WRONG SIDE, BECAUSE THE ONE NAREST TO ME WAS SEUNGHYUN.
T.T I WANT MINHWAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i feel so inferior seeing so many pretty F.T Island's fans. ):
I'LL DO MY BEST TO BECOME A GOOD DRUMMER,
YOU'RE MY IDOL!

I SAW THEM, I SAW HIM, I SAW YOU MINHWAN.
MAN I WAITING FOR SO LONG AND I SAW YOU.
I WAS STARING AT MINHWAN AND I DIDN'T SEE HONGKI AND JAEJIN.
MINHWAN'S SO HANDSOME, AND CUTE. OMG.
HE'S THE BEST! HE WASN'T WEARING ANY HOODIES, SHADES OR CAPS.
AND HE JUST SMILED ALL THE WAY. SO CUTE.
OMG.
AND OH MAN THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME WHEN MY REACTION WAS SO FAST AND THE FIRST TIME WHEN I TRIED ALL MY BEST TO RUN FAST.
oh and we saw T-Max and Brown Eyed Girls just now as well.
hehe. now i keep remembering minhwan's face. {:
WTH, i don't know what will be their schedules for the next 4 days and the departing time o next monday. T.T
i wanna see them again. just once more before they leave. PLEASE?

i wonder if Seung Ri had broken up with his ex gf because he was going to debut as Big Bang..
cos he said that he was seeing his ex gf for 3 years and they agreed on seperating and respecting each other before Big Bang's debut..
he even thanked that girl for allowing him to be more matured..
and i think Seung Ri is the magnae of Big Bang?
i have no idea why, but his sentences sounded sad to me.
TOP and G.D had gfs too.
and there were pictures in the net i think.
):
T.O.P!!
man i don't know why, but i'm starting to like him.
~i love you more more~
k kidding, just a part of what he sang in Lies.
he doesn't like people to touch him. lol. same same.
his voice is so super.. err.. man? lol.
and the video which shows G-dragon making prank calls to se7en was so cooooool.

ughhh. good thing i haven't heard anything about minari having any girlfriends..
otherwise i'll be so emo for days.
oh and btw i was alr emo when i realised how pretty some of the F.T Island's fans were.

ooo. i'm so fickle. now i have two idols that i like already... ):
no no, 65% to minari and 35% to Tempo.
dangerous already~
lol. but i wanna see minari tmr so badly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i still want minhwan's drumsticks!!
not his pair of drumsticks of course (they should be quite important to him already), but the pair of Silverfox drumsticks that have his signature engraved on.
ahhh please please...
i wanna see minhwan and jaejin tmr, clear views and photos. please.
it's just like these.
not even handshakes, autographs, hi-s from them to me, or even photos with me.
i just wanna see them, not very greedy, right?

i should let go. ):
kan kai dian. T.T
but i'm still so sad.

today's drumming lesson................. SO TOUGH.
but as long as i saw SABIAN, i was reminded of minari. so it's okay.
focus was there! but i don't know if i did well, cos i still think there's something weird going on with my right foot and hands. it's like i don't hit the bass drum on the beat. i'm so dumb.

yay i got the ft shirt!!
it's yellowish, and i like the stars. :D
oh, and of course the word, "PRIMADONNA".
hehe. that makes me a primadonna, though not an official one.

now i think i know why i'm like this, and why i lead such life already.
haha. after spending so much time thinking when i'm alone.
so much time was spent alright. for years, perhaps 2-3, i've been thinking and thinking to myself about what're happening.
last night, i finally thought of one answer.
an answer to so many questions, situations.
haha, so in the end, it is that one problem that i always have.
and now then i realise it?
haha, dumb ain't i?

i feel bad now. i wanna play drums.

Y.Y
*wails and cries and shouts, "freaking shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"*
i'm so sad..
my F.T Island......
oh i'm dying.
okay, means i still love F.T Island. great.
I CAN'T GO TO THEIR CONCERTS. I CAN'T GO TO SUNDOWN FESTIVAL. I CAN'T GO TO THEIR FANSIGN. I CAN'T GO TO THEIR FANMEET. I MAY NOT EVEN GET TO SEE THEM EVEN THOUGH I'M GOING TO THE AIRPORT THIS THURSDAY NIGHT.
i'm dying, perishing due to sadness......
bye people, bye......

ooo~ two blood type A in Big Bang- Seung Ri and Ji Yong! and two Seung Hyuns in Big Bang as well- Choi Seung Hyun (T.O.P) and Lee Seung Hyun (Seung Ri).
so coolz.. Tempo went to rap/ perform in underground clubs before. (this is according to some web found in google.)
wows.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. daraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
first, minhwan likes her.
second, she and T.O.P shot a mv together for Gummy's I'M SORRY .
and btw, she has a brother in MBLAQ.
but she's older than both minari and tempo.
this isn't obvious, is it?
okay, minari looks young, but t.o.p is only 22 years old while dara is 25.

ah anw, i had a horrible dream last night.
i guess i'm still quite haunted by O level.
hope that results will be fine!.
i always have weird dreams. -.-

lalala~ cute drummer boy of F.T Island always hunch his back when playing the drums.
random. :P
ughhh. couldn't find any funny videos of F.T Island and the other variety shows' quality are really bad.

i only remembered a few things about this trip.
firstly, we kept eating and eating.
secondly, we went to Langkawi and bought a lemonade drink that had 5% of Vodka in it.
but it was orange flavoured. i didn't know i could drink untill my face turned red all of a sudden and i discovered red patches on my body. -.- nice one.
the performances weren't that bad, especially the ones put up by the caucasian dancers. lol.
lastly, i did not take any photos. :D

i like the feeling when i'm on the highest deck, feeling the breeze (though it messed up my hair and i had a tough time trying to stop them from covering up my face);
i like the feeling of music being blasted through the speakers because we're all on a ship, in the middle of the dark sea.

and OH-NOs, i think i've gotten a bit of that Big Bang Virus. ):
Haven't been FTI-ing enough. die die die.
nvm, i still like MinHwan. lols. hwannie~
i've got a super cool, super cute, super adorable keychain for my phone. thnks to LLY.~
and also a new keychain for psp. lol.

T.O.P!
i like him cos he has the looks of an evil person.
lol. kidding kidding. (fans will bash me up if they see this).
but he looks amazing like that. :P
and his voice, ooo~, unique. lol.

i'm dead for another thing.
i haven't been air-playing cum practising..
shitz. and i kep postponing the lessons.