“life will be better in spring”

April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011

woah jonghun has been using his laptop while in singapore's hotel.
i don't know how he got the pictures, but the picstures which i just saved from Silh0uette were posted in his cyworld already.
and he has a lot of good-looking pictures in his cyworld. too bad cannot save those photos.
POPS IN SEOUL!
HongKi TOPPED the PRETTY BOY SINGER chart in PIS.
HAHAHAHAHA!
he beat kwon ji-yong, ss501's dunno who, taemin, and kim hee-chul!
see how impactful JEREMY is.. -.-

i shall blog about my fan account and whine about my fanmeet some other day when my mind is clearer.
lol. too tired. dying soon.
cannot shout too much in school already.
don't care first.

i wanna transfer!
please let me in!!

first day of school..
don't feel like talking about it yet.

after school i rushed back home and to AOR. hais.
so messed up.

then after drumming adeline and i ate at udders.
and we met vincent.
afterwards we walked from velocity back to whampoa.

feelings are mixing up.

I MUST BE MAD.

it's not just about school.
it's weird.

i just knew that there were rumors saying that jaejin will be leaving F.T Island.

...

i think my mind isn't doing much thinking now, cos just now when i saw JinCY i was thinking for a very long time whose name has JIN in F.T Island. Then after i convinced myself that there's no one's name with JIN, i saw 'JaeJin' on one of the fans' comments. omg.
and i feel that i cannot walk straight. -.-
my mind doesn't want to sleep, but my body does. HAIS.

tmr, i'm going to school.
new environment, new people (argh my gd friends Y.Y), new challenges.
wosh this sucks.
and i shall hope that i can sleep well tonight, cos i haven't been doing so ever since the holidays started (the reason why i wake up at 1 or 2pm is because i can't sleep at 12/1plus though i wanted to).

I'm glad that there was this chalet..

So yesterday adeline came over in the morning before we set off to Pasir Ris.
then after putting down the stuffs in the chalet, we walked out to subway at downtown east to meet yuhui.
so after yichan, nicholas, xz and zy came, we walked back to the chalet.
think we did nothing then, except for staying in the room until it was time for us to prepare for dinner. i only remember us walking here and there, till i was too lazy to walk any more.
at night i helped a little at the bbq pit and didn't really eat. no appetite. lol.
not much difficulty, cos we only need to heat up the food.
later, we went to get kelvin's cake and it was quite screwed. the ants got the cake too. -.-
when we finally lit all the candles and went down, kelvin didn't get to blow them cos of the fan. lol. nice scene there.
but immediately he was smashed on the face with whipped cream.
this was just the beginning..
kelvin washed himself.
they sprayed the foamy thing on him, in his shirts, and in his pants.
someone poured whole cup of the dunno what tomato+chilli sauce+potato chips on his head.
he cleaned himself again.
when he went outside, a whole tub of ice-cream was on top of his head.
haisssss. poor kelvin. lol.
i didn't take part in it but i got a little bit of cream on my face thanks to zw. -.-
nvm i did the same thing back to him since the cake was conveniently beside me.
our chalet is damn dirty. and kelvin drk too much so he puked.
i didn't do much of a help. so sry. ~.~
so after cleaning up he was left to rest near the toilet.
then we talked in the room and waited until yuhui left then we bathed.
bathrooms are frightening okay.
after that i forgot what we did already.
lol. i only know i couldn't sleep, so i didn't.
and adeline, nicholas, vincent and i walked out of Costa Sands to pick up twigs and leaves in order to start a fire.. -.-
oh yeah, and when we went out, they were topless. -.- vincent's damn funny when he said he was shy. lol.
i had two blisterssssssssss, in between my toessssssssssssssss, one on each footttttttttttttttttttt.
when i got back, one of them burst..
grosssssssssssss. and on the other side vincent was deciding on whether he should burst his blister. :
so later they started the fire and were heating up the left-overs.
then we didn't really have anything to do already.
what the hell did we do?
i only know some people were sleeping.
at 5plus, kelvin had to wake up and go to work at capella, and we walked him from downtown east to pasir ris mrt station.
so on the way we just talked and laughed. {:
sat for a while at Mac's with kelvin before yichan, nicholas, adeline and i walked back to the chalet.
when we got back, more people fell asleep.. lol.
we then left at 7am..
hais. chalet ended.

alright i'm damn sad okay.
i don't know why but i kept thinking of what kelvin said before going off.
"don't know when will be the next time we will meet already."
wl. when i received that msg from MOE i was so damn bored.
i mean, not really say bored, but just, i don't feel a bit excited.
I WANT MY SEC 4 'AFTER O LEVELS' HOLIDAYS.
these people are kinda cool cos we did ridiculous stuffs sometimes.
lol. serious.
wk i don't want new school. (neither do i want my old school. -.-)
that's why i only want my HOLIDAYS!!

sad.

nvm still can go out one.

i really think that in your eyes, i'm incapable.

appearing offline is the best.
cos i'm PETTY.

MINHWAN ISN'T WEAK OKAY.
HE ACTS CUTE, SO?
AT LEAST WHEN HE DOES IT, HE IS CUTE.
ACTS CUTE=WEAK?
BUT AT LEAST HE'S MUSCULAR.
SO HE'S STRONG PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY OR WHATEVER MENTALLY.
COS WEAK PEOPLE CANNOT STAY IN ENTERTAINMENT WORLD FOR LONG.

I AM ANGRY.
BECAUSE I LOVEEEEE HIM.

alright joking.
because he's my favourite idol.
if my idol is weak, then what am i? -.-

i wonder what's his grade in drumming.
maybe highest grade already? since he plays drums for more than 5 years already and he's been playing them almost everyday.
watch Ultramaeniya video. he's superb. and attractive. kekeke.

now i know why the children left their home when they found out that their divorced parents are 'having an affair'.
i know why they weren't happy about it because they are still trying to accept the fact that their parents had already divorced.
maybe i understand. maybe.
in any way, it sucks.
and if they are kind enough, they won't feel the betrayal by their parents.

i feel that i want to knrid till i'm kundr in one of those days.
i call it escaping from reality.
anw i don't think i will do it.

3 more days, i don't dare to go to school.
-.-

too much things to worry about,
so ended up that i do things half-heartedly.
-.-

have been very emo these few nights!
wth's happening.

memories weren't erased, just that ppl don't want to recall them.

love = trust? = forgiveness? = uncertainties? = no 'everlasting' or responsibility.
i don't know what i hope for, and i believe that i do not hope for anything now.
i know nothing of your m,
i know nothing of your feelings,
i know what you've been saying, but i do not know if you mean it or not.
i believe that i still don't understand. so do as you deem fit.
you decide for yourself, and i'll go according to your decision.

maybeiamjusthopingthatyouwillbeback.

yay! i changed my blogskin!! so that from now onwards, i won't have to colour the words to indicate different/seperate paragraphs.

so we watch It's Complicated at cineleisure just now, and had dinner at ion's hongkong cafe, followed by ice-cream waffle at suntec's Gelare.
so we're all talking about the chalet's stuffs.
not even sure if they'll be able to book it.. haish.

i don't know what i'm doing. i can get so emo all of a sudden..

oh anw, i love jy!!!!
hehehe. thanks to him i treated myself to so much food today.

so btw, i was emo-ing last night since i couldn't sleep yet, then i begin to recall things and so on.
and i thinking of what jy told me that day, trying to understand it deeper:
"you should let go of yourself."
so then i was thinking about this:
i'm trapped in the past.
the stuffs i did, the thoughts i had, the words i said.. i'm just still thinking about them.
just cannot let go of them yet.



okay, so now..
thanks to him, i wanted to do well in my studies.
thanks to v and jy, i wanted to study well for physics.
thanks to ahma, she provided a place for me to revise my work.
thanks to f.t island, who made me laugh quietly to myself when i was real bored (they were my only entertainment when i was preparing for exams).
thanks to my friends, who made me feel comfortable studying in school.
thanks to my tutor, who didn't lose her patience no matter how lazy i appeared sometimes. kekeke.
thanks to anyone who guided me in my work and life.
thanks to those who listened to what i had to say.

still, it's the biggest credit to ag.

for the past few days, i have been wondering about how jc life would be and,
the more i think about it, the more afraid and cowardy i get.
still wants to go poly, but i don't regret choosing jc.
worrying for academics, how will i do in GP when my english grade was B4;
as for socialising, what kind of people will i meet, or mayhaps i will end up being a loner?
may even be forced to stop drumming due to busy schedules.
sometimes, i even hope that i will get into yjc, at least there's someone i know there.
two more weeks, and school starts.

Song Seung Hyun: you will succeed as long as you work hard.

aucks, loser.
be brave, determined and move on.

oh yeah, so he called me today and asked why didn't i go out when he already gave me my 'reward'.
haha. so i shall be going out with a 'settled mind' for once.
sheesh, thanks.~

man, drums are really tough.
HWANNIE !! HELP ME!

i wouldn't have gotten this, without you all.

my first and second choice was NYJC.
today jy called and asked which school did i put, and he said i may end up in YJC.
T.T
actually i don't mind going yjc.
but just don't let me end up in ny's arts stream or mjc..

i know how and what i live for.
don't tell me to study for myself and not for others.
he's influential to me and you don't know what he means to me.
i find no bad things in living this way because i am willing to.
put it in this way or another, i can be a very petty person, especially when it comes to stuffs about him.

confirm going JC now.
i want to get into an university.
and i should have thought of this long ago.
it just slipped off my mind somehow.
i'm cannot go poly now.
i think i'll just do whatever i can in JC and get into university.

i want type something long after i make my decisions.
stress!!

omg. i cannot believe this.

facing it later.
there are only 3 distinctions for chemistry.
Ffff. what's this man?!?!?!
means i'm not getting my distinction for this freaking CHEMISTRY subject,
even after all those tuition and papers.
wth. shut up.

he left because he wanted to do his own music.
but he cried when was saying goodbye messages to his fans.
and he remained derpressed for months i guess.
did he really leave because of that reason?

Results will be released on next monday.
i have two plans for myself now.
no idea what will happen.
but for the past few months, i've only pictured myself crying in school's hall only.

MinHwan did hand sync...

i just read the comments of those who were in the SeungHyun-being-attacked thread,
and just found out that MinHwan almost fell because of fans?
i think this was according to the one who pulled SeungHyun's hair.
and the one who pulled his hair is YJ's friend's friend's sister's friend. -.-

i kind of wish to be a be translator in F.T Island's forum for translation of chinese to english one.
that's the easiest staff to be in the forum already.
the rest are just related to design and subbing of videos one.
never done it before, so not sure whether i should apply for it or now. :/

yesterday went out with usual people. hehe.
we went to Boat Quay's Mind Cafe. not bad, it was quite fun.
finally laughed quite badly after quite a few weeks.
after that it was a heavy dinner at Serangoon.

Today went to IKEA in the morning and then just now i met up with YuHui, YenChu, YiChan, Kelvin, Nicholas and Vincent.
adeline was sick.
another satiating dinner.

Result will be released on next monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've thought of places where i can go after taking the results already.
Realised it when i was on the way to IKEA....
guilt-stricken.

i think i know why minhwan likes 'bouncing' already,
cos he has to do that when playing drums.
lol, just a guess.~