“life will be better in spring”

April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011

i slept for a few minutes during lecture today! that was because i couldn't sleep early last night when i actually wanted to. sighs.
ytd was ultimate sadness. but i know i'll experience more sadness next time.
thanks to so many people's concern and consolation that i feel better today.

it's hard:
the only way for me to feel better is always say everything out,
but that seems weak of me, cos i can't even handle my own problems.
so in the end, no matter what i do, i'll still feel weak.
sometimes i think i know where my problems lie in, sometimes i'm suspecting that i don't.
so confused. then i lose confidence. then i remain like this forever, never want to improve.
and, WANTING and DOING are so different.
i want, but i feel that i'm not doing my best.

today's Judo was fun! though i'm still dejected over the fact that i cannot do the techniques well.
like, just now the coach taught us chokes and all, yet i couldn't really choke my partner.
furthermore, i can't lock her arm till she feels pain.
damn it. seniors said i didn't clamp her hand with my legs.
i thought i did, didn't i? ):

and all thanks to DEAN!! now ka shing and leon knows about that weird rumour which was made up by himmmm.
MY SENIORS BULLIED ME. T.T
k just kidding. haha.