“life will be better in spring”
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heave a sigh.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010 || 7:57 AM
i've disappointed myself for too many many many times, in many different ways..
why can't i just change my mindset?! why am i so lazy?!
after tues' judo, i kept questioning myself whether or not i want to get into A div.
felt like killing myself whenever i thought of that.
and for today's maths test, i had too many careless mistakes!
i even copied the wrong equation! if not for jl, my marks would have been lower.
PT after school, i'm still the slowest. still can't run 4 rounds continuously, can't complete my sets for lifting weights.
you stand there, see people doing better than you. it's disgraceful.
talking about disgrace, tues' randori sucks. kept getting thrown.
dunno what's wrong with me. if i wanna go a div, i should keep doing my best right?
sucks man.
then after PT, jl, cz, yz and i were studying at the grand stand.
now i wonder how much time i can waste because of the i-don't-feel-like-studying-mood.
tmr's judo has hand stand, cartwheels etc. and randori.
needa change my mood sia..
gimme back the i-want-revenge feeling please!!!
do i want to disgrace myself again?
do i wanna go for A Div?
do i wanna get promoted?
do i wanna lose?
damn it siaaaa!!!!
must psycho myself a little bit first:
they're just seniors. just yellow/orange belts.they've been learning for 1 year plus only.no need to be scared. no need to give up the thought of winning even before you begin the fight.TMR, i shall fight as well as i can.firm and no being gentle anymore.
