“life will be better in spring”

April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011

stayed in school to slack/do work until 7pm+ before meeting adeline at udders.
ate two scoops of awesome ice-cream on a waffle cone. (:
just the ice-cream being awesome isn't enough, cos you should eat it with awesome ppl too. ^^

sighsss hope she's feeling fine luh..
it's hard to accept all those things that are important yet make you unhappy, especially after you've put in efforts.
actually she's not that bad? from the way i see how helpful she is?
sighs the world is complicated.
people are complicated.
life is complicated.

i'm really really really very afraid of being retained and performing badly for A level..
and i want to enter A Div too. ):

after slacking for the whole afternoon yesterday, went tuh meet dean at library's mac.
i told him not to be late, but i was. {:
the whole mac was occupied, majority- guys.
they were there to watch soccer. -.-
imagine you, almost the only girl in a mac, trying to do maths and all of a sudden people will scold this scold that, or even start cheering just because some manchester united team scored a goal.
made me feel kinda out of place. haha.
well anyway, i concluded that dean is smart. sighs, I AM JEALOUS.
studied till around 10pm and we left mac. zzzhewantedtosendmehomebuthedidn'tsonowheowesmeone.
kays i realised it wasn't really very awkward or weird to be with him and, though there was this 'awkwardness' (which disappeared after a short while) when i first sat down in front of him and when we were walking tgt as if we're some very close, good friends.
don't tell me this is called "being comfortable with someone".
to be truthful i used to feel weird/awkward/a little bit of uncomfortable although i was only with a friend, who was supposed to be considered as my good friend somemore.
zzz. maybe things are really going different this time. i don't know.

how can i even get emo every night just because my phone didn't receive his sms how can i keep telling him weird things that have meanings behind them how can i get jealous or pissed off so easily why am i even waiting for those smses i tried to control but how it's not very easy why don't i even feel ridiculous when i see those random smses why do i want to hear him praise me how is it possible that i know he's irritating but i still reply him and now i am still waiting for his reply this is so horrible ridiculous and weird.

can comprehend the above paragraph of words without punctuations? haa.

i have faith in myself though. (:
came tuh NY believing that i won't fall in love with anyone until maybe years later and even if i really like someone, the feeling won't last for more than a year. (: (:
yeaps that's it.
i. don't. like. him.

actually, why do i even bother typing so much about him?