can i stop being an idiot. can i just stop thinking about him. yesterday was the first time i felt regretful with my own decision. o-m-g just stop please. though i realised it would be indeed tougher for me to be motivated to study, i seriously just wish to don't care about anything and everything at all. but some other times i really hope i can just pluck up some courage and tell him the truth. k stop.
coach. i'm very very very scared of you now.
you. i miss you a lot. i'm very scared that i won't be able to do it. really very scared. i don't know how useless i will be if i can't do it. it's the very last thing i wish i can do for you already. and i don't want to retain as well.
i told myself to go on even if i were to cry, bleed, sweat and pant like hell. no matter how tiring or how much it hurts, i still have to go on. but i couldn't. it's too hard.